Because i love you
by kuippolover
Summary: Bella has gone through so much in some short time and they have always been there for her, so what's the real reason for her sudden leaving? why would she hurt them? most important why would she hurt him? ALL HUMANS
1. Chapter 1: they were my family

They were my family, my long lost and wanted family, I didn't want to do it but I had no choice, and he was the love of my life but there was no other way. They have been with my when I needed them the most, but there was a chance for me I couldn't say no, they were my family but they wouldn't let me go, they know my past they know I shouldn't be alone

_I was left with my father when I was a child, not even seven, my mom said that she didn't belong in forks, and she left, so ever since I lived with my father, until I was seventeen, he died so suddenly, but I can't tell I didn't see it coming, he never tasted a vegetable in his life._

_But even then I still had my mom, who by the time used to life in phonix with her new husband phil, and by the other hand I had them, the Cullens. The year my father died I met them, or should I say I met him!, Edward Cullen, the love of my life, and his family whic__h soon adopted me as one more of their family, that year was the best and the worst of my life, after Charlie's dead my mom told me not go to her, which was good , at that moment because I didn't want lose Edward, but if I knew what I know now, I would have taken the first plane to phonix, so I lived by my own, but just for a few months._

_After a great year with Edward, the school came to end and in July , when I came back to my house form Edward's there was a package in the front door, it was form phoniz, Arizona, my first though was, "Renee sent me something" so I took it and opened it once I was in the living room, there was a dairy , a later and a note it said:_

_I'm so sorry, I can barely handle the pain and I didn't find_

_Other way to let you know Renee passed way on 3rd July,_

_She wanted you to have this and there is a letter where I think_

_She explains everything I'm so sorry Bella, I wish I could do_

_Something but I can't now you are alone but I know you are_

_strong. have a good life!_

_P__hil_

_In the letter she told why, when and what, and she warned me._

So I took everything I could in my bag, my money and my laptop, wrote a note and went to the door, one day they will understand but for know, this was the only way , I needed to let him live, I saw the note in the bed and breath his scent one last time, and with that I left

**AN: sooo I hope you like this new fan fiction , please read and review, and to make it clearer the cursive words is like memories or explanations and in futures chapter dreams **


	2. Chapter 2:taking you back home

EPOV

_Bella ,love! Where are you?- said Edward while he entered his room, and then he spot the note- what is this?- took the note and read_

_I had to go, this is not good anymore, thanks for the love,_

_the time and everything you did for me, but Edward live_

_your life because there is not us anymore, have a good life,_

_find someone to love, marry her and have children._

_Just forget about me, about us because I have already done it_

_Isabella_

_-__Bella, love, stop fooling around, it's not funny!!- _

_he started to worry and check every single place in the room, then in the house and came back to the room hoping she would be there and laugh to him, hoping hear her voice, but then again there was nobody in the room, so it wasn't a joke, he realised she was gone_

_-Nooooooooooo!!!!!!, bellla!!!!!!!!!!! Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! –he yelled_

I woke up in the middle of the night very shocked I haven't had this dream in three years, I look to my side and jumped as I saw Tanya, even after a year I don't get used to the idea of her in a bed next to me no my bed.

I got up and walked to the kitchen, there was Esme, and she seemed to be crying

oh hi! Honey you can't sleep either!- she said as she tried to hide the tears

no, I had a dream!!-I got closer now, and I wiped her tear with my finger- whats wrong mom?

Oh nothing don't worry I'm fine- she wasn't good at this- but what was your dream about?-she asked

Bella-I said as a whisper and with that she broke into a new waterfall of tears

I now!! Today was the day she left-said crying!!

Mom!! How can you cry for her? She left us, after everything she left us, with no explanation, with nothing she just left-I said now almost yelling

I know, but even though I can help but think there was something more

Yeah mom there was, she didn't love anymore, she broke my heart and she was to coward to say it to my face

Oh!! Baby I know!! Thats why I didn't go after her , she hurt you, you are right she doesn't deserve my tears!! Neither does yours!!

I don't cry for her mom, at least no anymore, now I'm happy after two long years i stopped crying for her- I gave her a kiss and went back to my room

In my way to my room I heard sobs, they were coming from Alice room,i got closer and heard "_oh japer I miss her so much, but I hate her as well I'll never forget her!" _I punched the wall and sigh, how much more pain can she cause.

I got in my bed and wait for another day to come but even all the pain she put us trough I can't stop think about her, on how she is?, searching excuse for her, god I miss her too.

After some hours I opened my eyes, not that i was sleeping they were just closed remembering every single detail of her, her eyes, her voice, her hair, her smile, her smell, god that wonderful smell!! But I had to come back to reality so I opened my eyes, as I turned around in the bed I saw her: Tanya.

She is beautiful, she's great, that blond hair and long legs make her unbelievable hot, but even though she wasn't my bella!, god!! I have to stop think about her she left 3 year ago so she's no coming back, now I have Tanya and she is my NOW, but as much as i want I can never maker her my future, but some day a will fall in love with her I'm sure I will!

-good morning!! Don't think so hard you'll burn your head!!- she said and got my out of my thoughts

-hi!- I kiss her check- sorry I was trying to…remember … what I have to do today- she make a face like she didn't believe me

-that's why you have a palm- she said in a duh!! Tone

-yeah right, lets go have breakfast

I got up from the bed and put my pants on, I really want to get breakfast I will see my brothers again after a week I missed them but I would never let them know, I didn't see them for a week because I had vacations and i took Tanya to New york she wanted to go shopping there and I bought something too, but I wasn't sure anymore, like I knew something was going to happened, so I went downstairs, Tanya fallowing me, she really get along with my family which was already in the kitchen but I noticed someone was missing

-good morning- I say as I patted emment shoulder- where is Carlisle?

-oh! Don't mention him- esme said really upset about that

-what? Why?-I laughed at her expression

- he left eight days ago without no word, he just left- esme was concern

-yeah well I believe he had and emergency, he was in his office reading some charts and the he got his coat and left- Emmett told esme

- yeah that will explain why he left so sudden but for eight days?-esme said

-well… -Emmett tried to find a reason- I don't know

-Besides- jasper suddenly interfered- he wasn't reading charts from his work, those were from some clinic in Switzerland

-Switzerland?- I asked

-yeah , well the country had a program for people with cancer, they help them and send them to Switzerland, but apparently the new government stopped giving the help, and now the families are looking for private help, they have one more month of help, and that's why they ask Carlisle for a donatives and sent him some records of the patients-alice said

-and he was reading them and suddenly he left-said Roselyn

-that's weird!!-said Tanya which remember me she was there

-have you tried to communicate whit him?-I asked

-No, not really-said esme thinking about it- but he left and that's wrong

-oh mom, don't be mad what do you think he is doing?-I said

-Yeah esme, is not like he is cheating on you-said Emmett, I knew he had to do something stupid otherwise he wouldn't be Emmett

-Shut up Emmett!-said Roselyn as she slap him in the arm-don't listen to him, of course he is not-said Roselyn

-I know-esme sigh- it just that I'm worried

-we know, we all are-Alice assured her

In that moment my phone rang, I picked it up

-Hello?

-Edward? Son? You are back home?

-yeah, but I can't say the same about you

-oh well I had to do something, is esme ok?

-yeah worried but she's fine, where are you?

-I'm coming back home, can you tell one of your brothers to pick me up in the airport?

-I can pick you up

-NOO!! I mean no you should be tired, why don't you let Emmett do it

-ok, if you want

-yes that's what I want I'll be there in 6 hours

-ok

-see you later son, tell esme I'm fine.

Whit that he hanged up, and that was weird he always ask me to pick him up, any ways

-Emmett Carlisle said that you have to pick him up in the airport in 6 hours

-he's coming back!!!- Said esme- thank god is he ok?

-yeah he is, he said he had to do something

-well he better explain it as soon as he gets home

CPOV

I turn to the seat next to my and there she was she looked so weak, so tired and she was asleep

-I'm taking you back home Bella!!


	3. Chapter 3: not even now

BPOV

**It's been three years since i left, three years without my family but I know I did ****well, they don't have to suffer and I have no right to ask them to do this for me, they have already done so much and the only thing I could do is save them form this pain. I wish I could have given them more reasons when I left but the circumstances made me hurried my plans. **

**I remember that day as it was yesterday and I know I will never h****ave a chance to finish his plans again.**

It was a Saturday four days after my birthday, so it was September 17th, Alice has been acting so weird, and she seemed to hide something from me. In the beginning I though it was a birthday party but my birthday have passed and they did give a small party even then she still acting weird. So, I was in Edward's an mine's room I had my plane tickets in my hand, they were a present form Edward the was ironic, he saw me looking for info about Switzerland on internet and he thought I wanted to go so he gave me two tickets for the both of us, well I was thinking about whatever use them or not, and all of sudden Alice was in my doorframe eating her nails and right there she cracked

_I can't do this anymore I have to tell you_- she almost was yelling and I almost fell from the bed

_Omg! Alice you scared the hell out of me !! what's wrong?_

_Nothing is wrong bella everything is just fine and is about to be perfect!!!- s_he said soo happy!

_What you're talking about?-_I said little more calmed

_Omg!omg! __Promised me you won't tell him I told you ok?_-I nodded _– he is going to propose!!_

_What?_

I was happy so damn happy, he wanted to marry me, he!! The most wonderful men in earth wanted me as his wife; it was a dream came true!! And right there I was crying!! Happy tears!! He was going to be mine.

_well I leave you now!!- _She ran to me and hugged_ me- congratulations!!!! Sis!!_

_Thanks alice-_I hugged her back and then she left

As she left and close the door I remembered the tickets in my hand just one word ruin the moment: Switzerland.

Now my tear were really pain tears because in that moment I realized I couldn't marry him, that I wasn't supposed to be there much longer and that I had to leave, but I couldn't give him the chance to propose.

I had to leave before he came back, because if I was going to hurt him it would only be once, I wasn't going to turn him down and then leave no!! I promised my self that I will save him form pain and that's what I did.

With that I started packing, I had two luggages and I filled them with everything I could. I closed the zipper and wrote a note for him, I didn't have time, so I had to hurt him so bad, I had to make them believe that I let them down, so then none of them would follow me, and I think it worked.

Once I call the doctor and told him I was going early I went to the airport, I took the ticket and booked my plane, there was when I realized my mistake, he would know I used the ticked but I had no time, I trusted my plan and two hours later I was in my way to Switzerland.

Now three years later I can tell my plan worked because he never showed up.

**I don't kno****w how I did it worked but they never knew about me again, some people tell me that I did wrong, and I used to think like them. When I first got the letter from Renee and I read it and the dairy I didn't understand why she didn't want me there , why she never told me she had cancer, but after she warned me that it may be hereditary I went to check my self and turned out that I had cancer in the skin and it was too far long , I was in phase four and by that time I had it in my stomach and liver, soon enough it was in my lungs and kidney **

**After four year of escaping to Seattle for doctors appointments, long "sleepovers" with Angela and sudden illness, I did understand , my mom only wanted me to be happy and didn't want me to suffer her pain so she kept me away form it, and I saw what she meant, when my "sudden illness" kept me in hospital for several days, Edward was devastated , I can't imagine him with me right now he would be in so much pain and even if it hurts and I want someone to hold my hand I will never call him. I did so much to hide it, and it really was so much considering the fact that Carlisle works in a hospital and he never knew, and I won't break now.**

**Now**** Switzerland was my home, well I don't know so much about it because I had no time to tour, but here is where I chose to live well were I was told I should live, because when my staying in hospital was longer than some days and they started to worry, I realized my treatment wasn't working so well, so when some stupid doctor diagnosed me with as anaemic and they believed ,I went to my doctor in Seattle, he told me there was no chance for me with this treatment, I need it a more aggressive one but even it wasn't sure, he told me about a clinic in Switzerland and the program that country had for people like me, the only thing they ask for was talent, and even a clumsy person like me have a talent, I'm a writer, so I gave up my work and they paid for my treatment.**

**When I got here they told me I only need a year and then I was going to be fine, in that moment my plan changed, right there I had a chance for a future a future I would give entirely to Edward I would come back and beg for forgiveness , ****but when the first year went by and I wasn't any better, I knew I had no future with him**

**A.N : OK soo I'm not a doctor and I based the medical facts on what I hear in grey's anatomy and shows like that and I don't know if there is a program like that in usa so I just made that up **


	4. Chapter 4: finally

**Because****of you**

**-****Finally****-**

CPOV

I was in my day off, and after I had breakfast with Esme, I went to my office.

The house was really quite, Emmett wasn't around neither did Roselyn ;Alice and japer were always quite and Edward was in new York by the time with Tanya, his friend well girlfriend, but I honestly don't think she will stay so long, she is not the right for him, the only one made for him was Bella, but she left three years ago, and even though I'm so thankful to Tanya for brought him some "happiness" to his life I always pray for Bella to come back.

So at the moment I was in my desk , there weren't so many work papers, most of everything was mail for my and some others folders with colleges propose to invert my money, but there was a big box and in the top of it a latter, it was form a clinic in Switzerland, I knew about this clinic I have heard that they were developing so many advances about cancer, but it wasn't and info latter it was asking for donatives for the clinic, according to it, the new government wasn't helping the people anymore, and now they only had one month to go with the treatment and there was people with really good chances and in the box there were files about them .

At first I wasn't going to check the file the letter was good enough for me to want donate any amount of money but them I thought I could help with aside problem with the patients there is never enough hand to help so I opened the box, there were like 20 charts but first a list with the names of the patients by alphabetic order, I was near some River guy when I saw a Swan, I immediately read it again only that time the full name: Swan, Isabella

I couldn't believe it, her? As soon as I could I got her chart, there was her in the file picture, and I could read that she had three years there but almost seven years of treatment, Seven years? But, how? And it said the she entered the clinic in September 19th, two day after she left, the time you need to get in there

Everything in the room started spinning around but at the same time everything was falling in its place, the puzzle was almost complete now, she was sick, that's why she was so often in the hospital, she didn't have anaemia, she had cancer, and then it hit me, she was there by her own, with nobody to hold her hand, suffering alone but why? Why she never told us?, in any way Edward needed to know, but the most important thing was getting her home, and Edward had a week before he was home, so I made a call, and booked my plane, I took my coat and left.

Two days later I was in Switzerland, it was difficult to find the clinic, but as soon as I got there, I when to the nearest nurse station

"_excuse me? I'm looking for some one, her name is Isabella Swan"-_I said hoping the nurse speaks English

"_excuse__moi, je ne comprends pas, parler clair, clair!!"-_she said and I only could get the word clear

"_C__lear?" –_Oh god my French is so poor! –"Swan_. Isabella" – _I said to her like she was a five years old

"_O__ui, il y"-_ she point right behind me and sure thing there she was, not the Bella that I remembered, one with short hair and skinnier and weak, but she was Bella and was looking right at me

"_Bella I finally found you!!"_

**AN: n****ext one would be longer and in Bella point of view!! **


	5. Chapter 5: how and why?

**Because I love you**

**-Chapter 5****: How and why?**

**AN: ****Hi****sorry****for****the****lateness I was super busy and I was trying to get a beta, as you have told me I have some problems with speech marks and grammar, well I did get one , although I haven't had the chance to start working with her but I will then I'll re update the formers chapters, hope it has less grammar mistakes and you can understand it,**** thanks to KanbiAme my beta hope we can start working soon**

**BPOV**

My days in the clinic have been really monotonous, always start and finish the same, and sometime it is hard to know when one was finished and other started.

My first year there, I spent most of my time sleeping, I was always tired, the treatment was so aggressive, I don't think anybody had the same treatment as me, but after that year my healthy improved, even though my beauty didn't, if I ever had some, by now my hair is short and I'm even skinner, sometimes I don't even recognize myself in the mirror.

As always my day started with a nurse bugging my arm for some blood, then the families started to fill the room, my bed seemed an empty spot in the middle of the crowd, I was the only one with no family there, technical speaking I had no family left, but in my heart I know I have one or at least I had.

Without warning Jessica, wife of one of my roommates, came to my bed she was really down, well how else could she be when her husband was sick with cancer but, true to be told there was more than sadness in her eyes, they were filled with pity

"Bella, hi, how you doing today?"- She asked faking a smile

"I've been better"- I answered very surprised, she never talk to me

"Don't be so negative, you know you are one with the best results, right?"- What game was she playing?

"Jessica, is it?"- She nodded and I continued- don't get my wrong Jessica but you never talk to me, what is it?

"You are so intuitive, and yes there is something I need to tell you, you see we all are in the same program than you, and yesterday the clinic called the families for a meeting, they told us that the government won't pay none of yours treatment after September ends, and now we are looking for donatives, but if we don't get them we have to pay for it or leave, so do you have any family we can call?- she asked really afraid of hurting my feelings

"no, but thanks for letting me know"- I fake the best smile I could and then she left

OK I didn't see that coming, what was I suppose to do? I have no family well I do but was I supposed to call them and ask for the money and forgiveness? Well knowing Esme the second will come before the money, but how could I do that to them? After all those years I haven't known about any roommate that say they wouldn't have done the same as me, all the support their families give them is nothing comparing with the pain they feel, so no there was no way I could do that to them.

It was September 10th when Jessica let me know the new, days later I was in the same situation, the only thing I had clear was that I wouldn't came back and I knew that before we have to leave I would have another chemo session, and after each I always have complication because of the weakness of my body, such as hearts attacks, or I stop breathing, whatever the complication were I could sign a document asking them to not bring me back with any machine.

When the nurse brought the paper to me, the first thing I notices was the date, it was September 13th, my birthday, it wasn't a surprise for me no feel excitement for my birthdays but now I wasn't excited because I knew I wouldn't have another one, at least that was what I though, so I asked the nurse for a paper sheet and a pen. AS soon as the nurse gave me the paper sheet, I started writing, I needed to apologize , I knew they won't read my letter but somehow I was at least trying yo be forgiven.

I was in my longest last letter, his letter, when suddenly I heard a very familiar voice coming from the nurse station, I turned to look at that direction and there he was, standing in front of the desk, looking exactly as he looked the last time I saw him.

But, how? What was he doing here?

"_excuse me? I'm looking for some one, her name is Isabella Swan"-_He said to the nurse

"_excuse__moi, je ne comprends pas, parler clair, clair!!"-_she said obviously she didn't speak English

"_Clea__r?!, _Swan_. Isabella" – _he talked to her like she was five, I couldn't help but laugh

"_O__ui, il y"-_ she pointed to me, and he turned to me, really shocked for what he saw, well I wasn't the only one that thinks I don't look like me , and with out taking his eyes off me he came to my bedside

"_Bella I finally found you!!"_

I didn't notice my tears until they actually fell, andwithout my permission my hands threw themselves to him- "Carlisle!!" -I said

"_oh! Bella don't cry! Everything is fine!_

But I couldn't help my self, I have no idea where my energy came from but I was hugging him crying and sobbing in his shoulders, after all this time it was nice to feel someone care for me

"_Why__ Bella?"_

Oh boy he wanted to know the story but first I needed to know his

"_How? How did you find me?"-_ I said between sobs

" _well Ms. Swan I asked first but as you are the lady here I'll answer that"-_ he said very polite as always-" _the short version is that the clinic wanted me to donatives and I got a list of the patients when I saw your name I took the first plane and here I'm-" _Carlisle told me

"_You don't have to give money because I'm here, anyway I'm tired of this" _– as soon as the words came out of my mouth he answered

"_I will give money Bella, but you are not staying here, and don't you dare to say something like that again, you are so close to win this, don't give up, you gotta fight_," - he said using the same tone he uses for his children_-" promise me Bella you'll fight" _

_-"I will!"-_ Somehow he gave me hope, and suddenly I knew I was going to win that battle

Before I knew it we were in a plane back to US, I spent most of the time "sleeping" I wasn't ready to tell him the truth. While the time passed I was getting sleepier but I could see Carlisle with his cell phone and I was awaken by his name.

"_Edward? Son? Are you back home?"_- Carlisle said

I could hear his voice but I was sure he was worried for his father

"_Oh well I had to do something, is Esme ok?"_-Carlisle kept on talking with him while my mind was fantasying our meet

"_I'm coming back home, can you tell one of your brothers to pick me up in the airport?"_- What? No he should be the one

"_NO!! I mean no you should be tired, why don't you let Emmett do it"_ Carlisle said sounding a little sorry, well Emmett wasn't that bad

"_Yes that's what I want I'll be there In 6 hours_"- Carlisle watched his clock and said

"_See you later son, tell Esme I'm fine."-_ He put his cell phone back in his pocket

Well Emmett was going to be the first I see, but honestly he would be mad at me, so I

Needed someone in my side, that one would be Carlisle and the less thing I can do is tell him the truth , so I turned to face him but he was already looking at me, to my surprise he wasn't mad, he was worried and… happy?

"_Hi"_-I told him but I wasn't sure if he heard me because despite I used all my energy I went out as a whisper

"_Hello, you look weak, would you like something to eat?"-_he said really worried

"_I would, but I can't"__- _I told him putting a confuse look in his face

"_Why is that?"-_ He asked

"_I would because I'm hungry, but I can't because ever since the chemo started everything I eat came out again"-_I explained to him

"_I remember they told__ me something about that, but have you tried to eat again? I mean when the chemo started you had it twice at week, now you only have it every three months"-_Carlisle said

"_Well honestly I haven't, but I can try… once we are out of the plane!-_I said

"_Ok, mean time drink this"-_ he said passing me a bottle, I drunk a little-"_and when we are out of the plane could you try to tell me why?_ – He requested

"_Thanks, and actually I prefer if I tell you before we land"_- I said as I closed the bottle

"_OK, I'm listening"-_ He said as he got comfortable in the seat

"_Do you remember that the year I met you both of my parents passed away?"-I asked_ and he just nodded_-" well when Phil told me my mom died he told me by a latter more like a note, no by the phone as I told you"-_I looked up to him and he wasn't so happy about my lying but I was guessing he will forget the lie once he know the story, because that was the first of many-" _sorry, well the note came in a box , there he sent me my mom's dairy and a letter she wrote before she died to me"- I took a deep breath he just took my hand and I continued- she told me she were sick for about 2 years, that she had cancer and she explained me why she never told me about the it. Also she said her doctor told her that it might be hereditary and I should check myself. After that I went to my first "sleepover" to Angela, well that's where you thought I went, actually I went to Seattle I had and an appointment"_

"_Why Bella?" _He finally spoke-"_Why you didn't tell us? We would have help you, you though we would leave you?"-_ at that point he was upset and hurt

" _God NO!, I knew you wouldn't leave me , but I thought I was fine, god I didn't want Edward to worry if it wasn't necessary, you saw it when I__ was "anaemic" he was worried sick, he was in pain, and if I have told him, he would have put me through every single test he know, and I thought I was fine, I was FINE!"-_ that was the first time I told my story and it hurt but somehow I knew that after this it won't be that heavy anymore, after some minutes I regain my speech-" I _swear I thought I was fine, so I wanted to confirm my thoughts by myself, so you won't go true that unnecessary anguish, so I took my test and made another appointment so the doctor would tell me the results, well I guess you know by now I was wrong, when I came back the doctor told me I had cancer in the skin and it was by then in my kidney , immediately he put my in treatment, so since the doctor told me I was sick until the day I left you kept believing I was at Angela's every time I went to my chemo session and when I got sick and weak you thought I was anaemic and I'm sorry for lying to you" –_I said

He sigh and spoke" _that still don't answer my question, why Bella?-_ Carlisle said

_-" Because, after I saw Edward at the hospital the last time, hurt and worried, I understood me mom, I didn't want any of you to feel this pain, and god he was hurting and he only thought I was anaemic, and believe me I have seen all my roommates family suffering I know I did well"_ –I said proud of my decision

"

"_No you didn't!"_- for the first time in my life I saw Carlisle angry at someone, and of course it was at me

"_I'm__ sorry"-_ I was crying my almost dad was angry at me

"_Bella don't cry, I'm not mad at you, well a little but you were being you, just worried for us and no really about you, that who you are, still, you didn't do well, you were alone and in pain, and yes we would be hurt, but not because of you __only because of your pain, because we wouldn't never want something bad for you, and you left I can bet that Edward was in as much pain as you were"_

"_did he..he'"-_I couldn't finish my sentences it was my worst nightmare became true

"_yes Bella he did"_ I have hurt Edwards I should been dead-" _but now you have a chance to change it all, Emmett will meet us in the airport, he'll be the first you have to fight then you'll choose to fight them all together or one by one, anything you choose I'll be there supporting you "-_ he said and wiped my tear and hugged me


	6. Chapter 6:i would see her soon

**Because I love you**

**Chapter 6: I would see her soon**

**An: So This is short but is not really important in the story, I just felt that you would like to know what Edward was doing while Bella was flying back to forks, and there is a part PG +13, not soo explicate and is very short but I don't want any of you to get mad if you don't like it tell me and in future chapters won't be any of this. The next one is in Emmett POV **

As soon as I told Emmett he had to go and get Carlisle I went to my room, once I was sure Tanya didn't fallow I enter my room, as in my real room not the one I share with Tanya last night ,but the one where Bella once was, I might have been crazy but I could smell her scent and I didn't want it to mix with any other girl scent, so I took my clothes and went to "the room "and took a shower.

PG+13

When the hot water touched my skin I immediately closed my eyes and as always her beautiful face came to my mind, only this time my imagination went farther, she was naked in the shower right next to me, kissing me and rubbing her soft hand in my chest while I just stare at her as I always did, and suddenly as always the me in my mind started touching her wherever his fu&%$ lucky hands could reach. I felt my self getting hard and then a hand was there, but in my mind Bella was busy with my chest, wtF?

"Thinking of me so early?" Tanya said and brought me to reality, as she stroked me-"you are such a pervert we only had breakfast with your family and…" I was down again; my body was aching for Bella not her" what? What did I do?"

"Nothing I'm just tired " I said reaching for a towel

"Tired Edward, tired of what?"- She was mad, and I knew that tone she was going to complain about how little I touch her- "in this entire week you haven't even try to touch me, and let's no say when you work, because you are Mr.I work 30 hour straight and your needs are nothing in compare with all the sick people, I mean I know you work is really hard and I work too, but in a year we have been together we had sex like 3 times, two of them because I begged you, seriously you don't like my body Edward, is it?"- Great she wanted me to lie and tell her who much I wanted her

"You know that's not the reason"-I said trying to convince myself more than her-"you

are beautiful and every man wish to have you"

"I the heck know I'm hot Edward so what's your problem?"-She said , god she is so egocentric, by the time I had my pant on and I was in the process to put my t-shirt

"I don't know, I'm tired"- whit that I went to my down star leaving a very mad and horny Tanya alone

It was 11 am, Tanya have left an hour ago, since then I went to my room , as in my real room: I don't know why but her scent has the power to relax me even after all this time, sometimes I spent days in my room just remembering her, god, how can I sill in love with her?.

Some when I fell asleep , when I woke up it was 4:30 pm , Carlisle must be in his way back home, but strangely when I woke up I have the feeling that I would see Bella again, it like my heart felt she was close.


	7. Chapter 7: brown eyes

**AN: Hi guys!! Well I hope you like this chapter and I really appreciate if you could review and tell me what you think so far. And as I told you in the former chapter I got a beta, but I haven't heard for her if you can help me or know someone who can , I really think I need it because of my grammar , so if you can let me now****, thanks!!**

**Because i love you**

**Chapter 7: Brown eyes**

**E****mPOV**

I saw Tanya left the house and for the look in her faces I guess she didn't get what she wanted but only the giggles from Rosie and Alice confirmed my suspicious.

As soon as the front door was closed, Edward ran to the 3rd floor and locked himself in his room.

Sometimes I truly don't get him, if he still in love with Bella why would he date Tanya? I know my brother and he is not the type of guy who plays with girls, I only can guess he is hoping to fall for Tanya, but honestly I don't think that would ever happened, she is great, smart, polite, just the kind of girl you would think Edward must date if you don't know him, she really is everything but Bella. She is not clumsy or shy, she is sophisticate but she is really boring. I think the only thing Edward love about her is that she is nothing near Bella.

His life is really a mess, and I don't really know how to help him, sometimes I pray for Bella to come back, but when I remember how he was when she left I pray for Edward to fall for Tanya, but that never feels right because as much as I hate what Bella did to him in the bottom of my heart she still my little clumsy selfless sister and I still hoping there were a reason for her to leave.

I was brought back to reality when Rosie slapped my arm for not putting attention to her

"_Woman, what's your problem?"-_I said as I shoved my arm

"_You, you are my problem!"-_ She said really pissed off

"_What did I do?"_ I asked her really confused

"_Look at me Emmett!!-_she said turning my head so I was facing he_-" I'm hot, I can have whoever I want, but no I have to fall for you, you that don't even listen to me !"-_ She said

"_Aww! I love you too babe!, and sorry I was thinking about Edward"-_I said honestly

"_I know"_- jasper said_-"he's quite worse this week"_

"_That's because this week was Bella's birthday and today was the day she left"-_ Alice said

"_Well as much as I would love to sit an talk about Eddie's situation I have to get going Carlisle flight arrives 5 in 4 hours but it takes 4 to get Portland , so see you!!"-_ I said as I stood up and take my car keys.

The trip to Portland took less than four hours, sometimes I don't realize how fast I drive until I see how little it took me to get there, but I was in time to pick up Carlisle.

It was twenty to three pm, and his flight arrives at three.

It was 3:15 and Carlisle flight have already land, but I could see him, I check my clock for the tenth time in the past five minutes and when I looked up again he was there, and next to him, well more like behind him was girl, a really skinny girl , with short brown hair and brown eyes, she looked so weak and tired, but as closer the got as more familiar those eyes looked to me, sure then they weren't full of life but really tired, even though they were the same, the same that showed nothing but love to Edward, the were Bella's eyes.

Suddenly those eyes were just inches apart from me. I could say a word I was shocked.

"_Hi Emmett"-_ that all she said, more like she whispered but that's all she needed to win me back right after she was in my arms, in a really thing bear hug, then I remembered how skinny she looked

"_Bella, what happened, why do you look soo weak and skinny?"- _I asked her

"_Well"-_ Carlisle spoke and I remembered why I was there-"_hello to you too son but I really think Bella should sit, her story is really long, why don't we go to the food curt?- _Carlisle offered

"_Hi dad, and sorry but what to you have to do with this?-_ I ask as we walk to the food court as Carlisle said, I was really afraid that Bella might broke.

I couldn't believe what Bella was telling me, my sister got sick but she never told us, well typical Bella but the most unbelievable thing was that she was there.

The next hour I listened how she found out she was sick, and how she knew about the clinic. She told me in a very short version how much she went through all this years.

Back then I might have forgiven Bella for what she put Edward through, but the I hate myself for hating her before, how could I believe Bella was capable to hurt us? We thought she let us down but it was the other way around, we weren't there when she need us the most.

**AN: BETA WANTED!! Mine is lost, I hope she is fine!!**


	8. Chapter 8:i missed esme

**AN: Hi!! ****Guess what? I have a beta! YUP and believe it or no she is the amazing author of Puppy love!! I so love her story , so if you haven't read it her User name is ****dailyangel8****8, ****So here it goes, thank you Ivy!!!**

**Because I love you**

**Beta by:****dailyangel8****8**

**Chapter ****8 :I missed Esme**

**BPOV**

We landed in Portland a couple of hours later. I was really tired; I had no idea why if the only thing I did was sit and sleep. Anyway, we took the luggage. Well more like Carlisle took his, I didn't bring anything and we headed to the exit.

Soon enough I saw a really tall man, pacing around impatiently, to anyone else he may have looked dangerous and bad but I knew he was just a giant teddy bear to hug and he proved him self when he embraced me in his arms.

After a really long hour of explanation, during which to my surprise, Emmett stayed really quite and listened, he didn't ask so much just the simple questions. How I was?' Did the treatment work? How long until I got back to my normal life? (He didn't ask because he wanted me back on me feet, but because until then he wouldn't see me fall).

It was ten past eight when we arrived in Forks. I had been sleeping almost all the way back, but I woke up just in time to see the signal of "welcome to Forks ". Before I fell asleep I must have communicated to Carlisle that I would like to fight them all together.

SO far my battles hadn't been so bad, it seemed that the Cullen guys forgave easily, however I knew that even if my luck was good that day and Jasper forgave me that easy _**he**_ wouldn't, he never was like his brothers.

Maybe Esme would listen to me, oh boy I missed Esme so damn much, I missed my foster mom.

No even 15 minutes later we were already there. Carlisle was the first to get out of the car. He had a huge smile on his face, sure enough because Esme was waiting for him in the door way, immediately running into his arms.

"_Oh my god! You__'re ok"-_ She said as they hugged, meanwhile Emmett had gone to my door to help me out-"_don't you eve..."-_

As soon as I got out of the car, Esme looked at me, I put a smile on my face I was truly happy to see her.

"_How__ dare you come back?"-_ She said to me, furious and coming my way, suddenly she was in front of me _"Get out of my house, you are out of our lives_!"- then she slapped me across the face.

Emmett must have gone to get the bags because he wasn't there to support me and I must have been really weak because when she hit me I lost my balance and after that I was in the ground. My head hurt so badly I don't exactly remember what happened next I just heard...

" _NO! Don't help her"-_ Esme I figure said to someone and then his face was the last thing I saw but I believed it was just and angel welcoming me to heaven.


	9. Chapter 9: four years

**Because I love**** you**

**Chapter 9: four years**

**Beta by:****dailyangel8****8**

EPOV

I had no idea how much time I spent in my room that day, but when I heard Emmett's jeep pull in it was already dark outside. I hadn't noticed because I was in my "happy place" as Alice call it, where the only thing I could see was Bella, and for that short time I was happy and I felt complete. As I heard Emmett's car, I came back to reality.

I was on my way downstairs when I heard Esme yelling at someone, that was really weird, Esme never raised her voice to anyone not even when she was mad and even less to Carlisle, so I guessed that she wasn't yelling at him. To confirm my thoughts I rushed down to the door where I met the rest of my family, and I 'm not really sure why they were so shocked: because Esme was yelling or to whom she was yelling at.

There in the front porch was Carlisle, a girl that at First I didn't recognise Emmett and Esme, who was currently yelling at the girl next to Carlisle. As I said before I didn't recognise her at first, she was frightfully thin and weak, her hair was short, but it kept her beautiful brown color so did those eyes. Even then I didn't know who she was, until my foster mom did something I never expected her to do, she slapped the girl across the face, it didn't look so hard but it was hard enough to put the girl in the ground, and right there when the girl's head felt the ground I knew who she was.

She was my Bella, she looked so sick and helpless, I knew I should have ran to catch her, but my loneliness from all those year took the best of my and I stood there looking at how much pain she seemed to be in.

Suddenly my feet started to work by themselves when I saw all the blood around her, and in second I was kneeled beside her.

It made no sense, it was way too much blood coming out of her head, the only explanation I could came to it was that her skin was really sensitive and then I remember how weak she looked, how much thinner she was, how sick she seemed, something was wrong and Carlisle's face of unconcealed horror and distress wasn't helping calm me down. I couldn't lose my Bella again, she was finally back, she hadn't had the chance to explain, I couldn't lose her, not again… wait did I just call her my Bella?

Two hours passed since we'd arrived at the hospital. Esme was now crying her eyes out, blaming her self for this; Emmett had been really quiet ever since the incident, which told me he knew more than he said he did; Rosalie and Jasper had been trying to calm themselves, neither of them were great in emergencies. Esme and Alice were trying to get something from me, but she wasn't having it.

On the other hand, Carlisle had entered with Bella, telling the doctors about some condition she had, and talking about a treatment, but how did he know that?

All of sudden Carlisle was in front of us, with a chart in hand and having a silent conversation with Emmett, who to my surprise only nodded.

"Well." Carlisle said "I have some…" he paused"… news to tell you, so please let's go to the meeting room." He guided us away from the waiting room, once everyone took a place at the table -Carlisle in front as always- he took a deep breath and started to speak, looking unsure. I'd never been more afraid. " Well what I need to tell you is not easy, and as I only can give you the medical facts it won't be easier, but as you can tell, Bella's condition isn't normal, she is sick, and when I say sick I mean it. She....has cancer, it is particularly aggressive and she's been living with it for approximately four years now. The only things I can tell you is that she is on a treatment, She was in a clinic in Switzerland, and that the treatment has worked, but that doesn't mean she is totally fine, she still have a long road to walk and she is going to need us, I hope we all"- he gave me a meaningful look, at this point I barley noticed-" can be there for her, and as for her reasons, well she will tell you as soon as she feels like she can."

"But four years?"- Alice asked, shocked and slightly angry.

"Please Alice. She will tell you, but don't rush her, she'll be awake soon, but she's still weak, and she just went through a transfusion. Please be patient." Carlisle finished turning his attention to Esme.

Four years? Four years I had known her for almost 8 years and half of it she was sick, how did I never see it? My angel had been dying and I hadn't noticed, but she left, she didn't trust me. The fact that she was sick at the time didn't give her an excuse. What about what she'd said, she said she already moved on, I was so damn confused the only thing I knew how to do was breath, yet somehow I was able to run, so I did.

I ran until my muscles ached, until I felt nauseas, until I could hear my heart pumping in my ears, the only other sound accompanying me was my harsh breathing. This was where I broke. I slid down next to a tree and let all the emotions that had been running through me in the past 24 hours overwhelm me.

I wasn't sure of much but I knew three things. One: Bella was back and still not completely herself. Two: Despite the part of me that was overjoyed to see her, I was still mad and three: I had to find a way to deal with her being back before it destroyed me.

**A/N: SO here is the chapter I'm sooo sorry for the wait but I really had a bad time at school and I'm finally on vacations YEP!!!!!! And now I'll try to update as much as I can, but it won't hurt to read some reviews, it would be really nice its always good to know other people enjoy your work ****(and my beta's work) and as well it good to know if you think something could be better in the story, and before I go I just want to say thank you!!!!!! To my beta thanks ivy , sooo click the green bottton!!**


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